Wednesday

Breaking News!


Comstock kiddie clearly forced to forfeit king size Kit Kat thanks to a puny Halloween pail

A breaking news bit for this year's crop of trick-or-treaters and 16-year-old scamps who solicit candy intended for those actually dressed in costume (we're on to you's kids!): Word on the virtual street is that the percentage of households handing out full, king and other mattress-size candy bars is expected to grow exponentially this year. Nuts to all that so-called "systematic" childhood obesity research - this is good news, peeps! Just be sure the circumference of your candy container (2 x pi x radius, yo) is conducive to this year's selection of supersized confections. Screw the once stalwart pumpkin pail. Call in the Smurfs pillowcase!

-Dana

No comments: