Each week, Bittersweetjesus calls attention to one prehistoric candy that is still manufactured, despite the fact that even those with the least discriminating sweet teeth around (ie, smokers, Grandma, consumers of Necco Wafers) won't eat it. This week, after a few hours spent stewing in my own creative juices [Ed. sitting in a bathtub filled with lukewarm water and Mr. Bubble], I decided to kick things off with wax lips: the so-called candy that not only straddles the fence between confection and cosmetic, but can also be filed under The Poor (Wo)man’s Lip Augmentation.
Believe it or not, wax lips – which are indeed classified as candy - were once a popular novelty, especially during the Halloween season. However, primarily marketed as just a hilarious substitute for one’s own lips, few knew the oversize paraffin pouters actually doubled as a gum that could be chewed once the gag grew stale. Since most wax lips were given the ol’ heave-ho when the novelty wore off, the product experienced a rapid decline in popularity. And although their demand has waned even more significantly over the past few decades, Concord Confections continues its production of these tasteless travesties.
While I'll admit that some may find a mouthful of saliva-softened wax amusing, I have a difficult time digesting the continued display of wax lips in sweet shops across the US.
In other news, gold stars for those who caught the lame, but intended, digestion / gum pun in the sentence above!
-Dana
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