FEAST!

So I've just become aware of a commercial spot epic spanning no less than 9 episodes that features Snickers (the KFC Famous Bowl of candy bars) in the hands of various “feasters” from the past. The premise: Snickers is such a feast that Norse Warriors will flee Valhalla; Pilgrims will abandon the Thanksgiving table; Caesar will leave a Greco-Roman wrestling match; and Native Americans will drop ritual tribal dances just to get their hands on one.

Each of the episodes (which are available on the tragedy that is YouTube) star the anachronistic comic quartet having wacky interactions as they travel through modern America in a beat-up sedan.

To be honest, I can't tell whether the characters have purportedly traveled through time, or they were simply kidnapped (frat-boy style) from strange historical refuges to take part in the feast.

In the most recent episode, a BP gas station has run out of regular Snickers. Needless to say, the viking is initially furious (after all, he did leave an eternal land of feasting for this shit). But upon learning that the new dark chocolate variety of Snickers is available, he is thrilled. He expresses both his rage and jubilee by tossing adjacent trashcans at a nearby vehicle.

I theorize that the episodes are all building to a Halloween climax, wherein we learn the truth of the characters' mysterious origins. Perhaps they'll take off their costumes to be revealed for the stoners that they really are. Or maybe, one by one, they’ll be zapped out of the car back to their own time (which is how I hope it turns out).

But what if, despite the promise sworn one night at a Motel 8, the viking sneaks a Snickers back through time to his homeland? I can see it now…

The viking brings the Snickers to a druid who divines the recipe and recreates Snickers in a cauldron. The cauldron, deemed dangerous to Iceland, is entrusted to the viking ships sent under Leif Erikson to explore America. The American settlers overindulge; lacking proper dental hygiene, they quickly lose their teeth. They can no longer tear into the juicy roasts and pig legs that have saturated their diet. They can't eat the buffalo and corncobs so popular among the natives. And that's why the viking settlement in America vanishes circa 1000 AD.

To cope with the wait, I guess I'll have to go out and try me a dark chocolate Snickers. Somehow I just can't imagine the dark chocolate mattering much, what with all that nougat and caramel and peanuts. But then, I'm no historian.

-Steev Sachs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt9xrsRyvOk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dJXVDnYz1U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJph4SL3ttM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niusMHdZZDI&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iqvPVLQm70&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKQ-Nfa8rww
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78U7CEB1FPE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvCe4x1xnhY&NR=1